Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
