I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
