I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
