i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
