i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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