Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
