the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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