its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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