She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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