And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
