yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
this will be a night to untag.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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