I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
