goodnight i made you a song goodbye
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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