Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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