The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
