Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
