How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize