just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
