he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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