I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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