i think my mom watched the whole time
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
He felt like a one man threesome
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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