So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
