I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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