is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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