She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
