did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize