I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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