Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
