So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I party with great urgency now.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
