Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
