addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
