he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Randomize
