You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize