Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize