Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
