In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
