I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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