I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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