So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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