just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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