nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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