matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
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