remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
