I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
