Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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