I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
