dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
