I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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