Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
