Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize