from now on my penis is your penis
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
