DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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