I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
