2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
