But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
