i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
