Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
