I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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