she looked like the bat from fern gully.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I want to be your penis for a week.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
