Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize