I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
