What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
