ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
